Introduction

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in a negotiation is to treat your counterpart how you wish to be treated. If you value directness, it’s easy to assume that your counterpart does too. However, this “golden rule approach” to negotiation can do both parties a disservice.

Being an effective negotiator means treating your counterpart how they wish to be treated—and leaving your own preferences out of it. Although you may see being direct as a form of respect, it can just as easily come off as an attack to someone with a different negotiating style.

But how do you know how someone wants to be treated? There are many different types of people in this world, but there are only three types of negotiators: Analysts, Accommodators, and Assertives.

The best negotiators incorporate characteristics of all three types into their strategy and know how to shift their communication style to better fit their counterpart. In this guide, we’ve laid out the distinguishing features of each negotiator type and the most effective communication techniques to use with them.

Negotiator Types

Analyst

How They See Themselves: Realistic, Prepared, Smart

How They May Be Seen by Others: Cold, Standoffish

View of Business Relationships: As long as they aren’t causing conflict, they are actively preserving the relationship.

Cares About:

  • Acquiring facts and information

Negotiation Mindset:

  • Time = preparation
  • Silence = time to think

Characteristics:

  • Methodical & diligent. Hates surprises.
  • Self-image tied to minimizing mistakes.
  • Prefers to work on their own.
  • Reserved problem solver.
  • Information aggregator.
  • Skeptical by nature.
  • May appear to agree when just agreeing to think about it.
  • Slow to answer calibrated questions.
  • Apologies have little value.

Views on Reciprocity:

  • Giving: They only give up things they’ve already thought long and hard about.
  • Receiving: When they receive first, they think it must be a trap.

Tools to Use:

  • Labels, specifically to compare analysis.
  • Use data to explain your reasons, no ad-lib.
  • Use data comparisons to disagree.

How to Get Them Back: Show them you’re ready to get something accomplished.

Worst-Type Match: Assertive

Accommodator

How They See Themselves: Personable, Conversational, Relationship Focused

How They May Be Seen by Others: Friendly, Too Talkative

View of Business Relationships: The relationship is most important.

Cares About:

  • Building relationships

Negotiation Mindset:

  • Time = relationship building
  • Silence = upsetting, indicates anger

Characteristics:

  • Happy when communicating.
  • Sociable, peace-seeking, optimistic.
  • Distractible, poor time managers.
  • Watch tone & body language—they won’t express hesitancy in words.
  • Risk: may overpromise, agree to give you something they can’t actually deliver.

Views on Reciprocity:

  • Giving: They are most likely to give something up first. Their giving isn’t motivated by receiving.
  • Receiving: They are flattered and take it as confirmation of a positive relationship.

Tools to Use:

  • What & How calibrated questions focused on implementation.

How to Get Them Back: An apology (“I’m sorry” is mandatory).

Worst-Type Match: Accommodator

Assertive

How They See Themselves: Honest, Logical, Direct

How They May Be Seen by Others: Emotional, Aggressive, Harsh

View of Business Relationships: Needs mutual respect; nothing more or less.

Cares About:

  • Being heard

Negotiation Mindset:

  • Time = money
  • Silence = opportunity to speak more

Characteristics:

  • Perfecting the solution is less important than getting it done.
  • Loves winning above all else.
  • Most likely to get tunnel-vision.
  • If you focus on one goal, you miss opportunities to explore options.
  • Emotions can cloud decision-making faculties.
  • View negotiations as intellectual sparring.
  • Focus first on what they have to say. They’ll only listen if they’re convinced you understand them.

Views on Reciprocity:

  • Giving: Give them an inch, and they’ll take a mile.
  • Receiving: If they give up something, they are counting the seconds until they get something of equal or more value.

Tools to Use:

  • Mirrors
  • Calibrated questions
  • Labels
  • Summaries
  • Get a “that’s right”

How to Get Them Back: Any invitation to re-engage.

Worst-Type Match: Analyst

Conclusion

If you can identify what type of negotiator you’re dealing with, you can tailor your communication strategy to make them feel more comfortable, understood, and in control. Doing so will ultimately help you earn their trust and learn what you need to know to influence their thought process.

In addition to knowing what to look for, identifying negotiator types and adapting under pressure demands practice. There are plenty of everyday, low-stakes opportunities to use these skills and hone your competence. The more often you take advantage of them, the more second nature these negotiating techniques will become.

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